No' Rabbie Burns

Poems that were definitely NOT written by Robert Burns

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Extracts from No' Rabbie Burns

 
O Lassie Art Though Sleeping Yet


Tune: Will ye lend me your loom.

Chorus:
O let me in this ae night,
When ma cock for once is big an’ tight;
Ye can even keep oan the light,
O gonnae let me in, jo.

O Lassie art though sleeping yet,
Or art thou awake and wantin’ a bit?
The Viagra has worked – see the size o’ it,
And I would fain be in, jo.

Thou knows I’m gettin’ on in years,
And impotency has caused us monie tears;
So I drown ma sorrow wae strong beers,
But I would fain be in, jo.

So I bought a wee packet oan eBay,
A king’s random I hud tae pay;
And I swallowed them awe today,
So for Christ sake let me in, jo.

Her Answer

Chorus:
I tell you now this ae night,
Tho’ yer cock’s as big as a bull’s delight;
Ye can wank away for awe yer might,
For yer getting sweet F O, jo.

O tell na me ‘bout awe yer pain,
For it only fills me wae disdain;
This night for sure yer gettin’ nane,
O I widnae let ye in, jo.

Ye’ve wasted money on stupid pills,
In the hope o’ getting yer kinky thrills;
But ye’d better a paid oor monie bills,
For I widnae let ye in, jo.

So go take out yer ancient Razzle now,
And wank away tae some filthy cow;
Jist get oot o’ ma sight any how,
Cos yer damn no’ getting in, jo.
 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 
 
 

 

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